Archive for January, 2000

Instructions for Life

January 1st, 2000
  1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
  2. Memorise your favourite poem.
  3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
  4. When you say, “I love you”, mean it.
  5. When you say, “I’m sorry”, look the person in the eye.
  6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
  7. Believe in love at first sight.
  8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
  9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
  10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
  11. Don’t judge people by their relatives.
  12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
  13. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”
  14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
  15. Call your mom.
  16. Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.
  17. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
  18. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
  19. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
  20. When you realise you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
  21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
  22. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
  23. Spend some time alone.
  24. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
  25. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
  26. Read more books and watch less TV.
  27. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll get to enjoy it a second time.
  28. Trust in God but lock your car.
  29. A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
  30. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
  31. Read between the lines.
  32. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
  33. Be gentle with the earth.
  34. Pray. There’s immeasurable power in it.
  35. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
  36. Mind your own business.
  37. Don’t trust a man/woman who doesn’t close his/her eyes when you kiss.
  38. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
  39. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.
  40. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.
  41. Learn the rules then break some.
  42. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
  43. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
  44. Remember that your character is your destiny.
  45. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Nota Bene for Musicians

January 1st, 2000
p – piano (soft)
the neighbours have complained
f – forte (loud)
the neighbouts are out
Crescendo
getting louder – testing the neighbours tollerance level
ff
fortissimo (VERY loud) – to hell with the neighbours
pp
pianissimo (VERY soft) – the neighbours are at the door
Dim
thick
Obbligato
being forced to practice
Rit (and/or) Rall
coming up to the bit you haven’t practiced
Con moto
I have a car
Allegro
a little motor car
Maestro
a bigger motor car
Metronome
person small enough to fit comfortably into a Mini
Lento
the days leading up to Easto (with eggo and choco and things)
Largo
brewed in Germany (hence “Handel’s Largo reaches parts other beers cannot reach”)
Piu Animato
if you don’t clean that rabbit out it will have to go
Interval
time to meet the players in the bar
Perfect Interval
when drinks are on the house
Cantabile
singing (that is, viz. drunk)
Con spirito
drunk again
Cantata
a fizzy drink
Tutti
ice cream
Coda
served with chipsa
Codetta
child’s portion
Chords
things that organists play with one finger
Dischords
things that organists play with two fingers
Suspended chord
for lynching the soloist
Rubato
ointment for the musician’s back
Subdominant
“I can’t play until I’ve asked the wife”
Tonic
a pick-me-up
Syncopation
bowel contition brought on by an overdose of Jazz
Crotchet
knitting
Quaver
the feeling you get before a lesson when you haven’t practiced
Key signatures
silly things put there to frighten you (ignore them – they will go away and so will your audience)
Time signatures
things for drummers to ignore
Colla voce
this shirt is so tight I can’t talk
Professional
anyone who can’t hold down a steady job
Flats
English apartments
A tempo
in time
A tempo de cafe
Ah, coffee time!
Improvisation
what you do when the music falls down
Fugue
clever stuff
Prelude
warm-up session before the clever stuff
Acciaccatura / Appoggiatura
insects
Opus
exclamation made when Moggy has done a “whoopsie” on the carpet
Scales
fishy things
Trill
bird food
Virtuoso
someone who can work wonders with easy-play music
Antiphonal
crossed lines
Melody
an ancient and now extinct art in songwriting
Music
Happiness


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